Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
