Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
