no. you can't hotbox the world.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
