The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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