i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
