I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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