I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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