I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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