How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
