I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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