This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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