@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
