i just had sex bonerless
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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