absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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