No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
