My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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