i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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