he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
