Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
