The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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