sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
