I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
