You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
