North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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