I murdered the dance floor call the cops
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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