fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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