my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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