Reggie can tackle my bush.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
