I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have already put on my inside pants.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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