There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
