i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
