Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize