Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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