I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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