He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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