He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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