I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
