Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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