I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
