dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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