yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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