Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
