hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
