does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
