my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
