She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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