Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
