ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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