Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We left the knife in your bed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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