She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize