She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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