he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
