I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
