Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
