yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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