turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
