All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
