Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
