I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
