sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
