She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
