Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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