I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
