The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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