i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
