you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
