All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
